Its good to spoil yourself

I bought a kindle.

Thought about it for well over a month, as i hate spending more than $100 on one item.
I stared at Amazon, Target, Best Buy... all the while considering the purchase.
Finally, i hunted one down and decided to buy in store vs online just for convenience. First thing i did was download some freebies of course, and found a few on sale for 99 cents. which made me click happy!

I ended up spending 6 hours reading one book and just let my afternoon fade away.

So far, im really thrilled with my purchase. I have yet to find a case i love...
And if anyone has any suggestions for low-cost books that are great reads please dont hesitate to let me know.

Book Review: Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

Ive never done a book review before, Ive never wanted to review a book. Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert is a book EVERYONE should read.
While i know that is an opinion, I also feel this is fact.

The only thing that made me interested in this book, and i mean the ONLY thing, was that she lived in Italy for a good portion of this book. That is the only reason i bought this.
It was so good, i bought another copy for my cousin. I just want to say ive never bought a book for someone that they didnt specifically ask for.

This book made me look deep inside myself and evaluate me. It made me think about me. It made me feel good, and feel sad, and feel alone and content.... all at the same time. I can honestly say, i found a small amount of peace in my life from reading this book.

Id also like to point out that i never quote anything, but i constantly find myself remembering sentences or events from the book without realizing that its from there.
Tonight, im writing my blog and talking about how love stinks. And i recall a phrase that talks about how all life disagreements can be attributed to two reasons.

"I met an old lady once, almost a hundred years old, and she told me, 'There are only two questions that human beings have ever fought over, all through history. How much do you love me? And Who's in charge?" 
— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)


While you might not completely agree with this, the sentence alone makes you think. 
This whole book makes you think, and ponder events in the world, in your life, in general. And i said ponder, not analyze. 


I want to be as brave as this person, to do something alone. Im struggling just to go out and find new friends alone. Lets not mention how spaztic i got when i decided to go out to eat dinner at TGIF alone.... completely alone.


I will probably never see the movie, just because i know it will take away the parts that i love about this movie.
I also wanted to link this webpage that shows different quotes from the book, even reading some of them makes you want to read more.


And not to plug, but i thought i would link the book, just in case someone wanted to check it out. 

Things get worse before they get better...

My aversion to writing is that i feel i do not express myself very well.
Maybe its because i read so many blogs and tend to compare myself. Or even that i read my friends writings and feel that they are better versed that i could ever be.
Perhaps, i just try too hard to be something im not.

Last night, my sister and i got into an argument. While im sure it wasnt so much the subject of this particular fight, but more a final straw on the camels back, im still sad that it came to this. The end result of the fight was me  washing my hands of her and her drama.
Hopefully this will be for the best, or maybe she will open her eyes and change some things in her life.

Today, my doctor called me about some test results. While im not going to share the subject on here at the moment, i thought the conversation was worth talking about.
The conversation basically was the Nurse Practitioner telling me that the doctor would like to schedule a follow up. Not unusual to receive that call, but the reason was because my test results were "off," who uses the words "off" to describe test results. High, Low, Good, Bad; these are all great adjectives to describe test results. "off" is not something one expects to hear.

Im slightly worried about the discussion, but slightly happy to hear that there is an explanation.
I guess i will know more on friday.

Last night, I laid in bed not being able to sleep, so i decided to find a journal and start writing there. Perhaps ill do this on top of my blog, but i had thoughts running around in my head so fast that needed to get out.
I wrote about a guy.
I wrote about how i met him, and how he makes me feel, and how i love him but he feels nothing for me.
Life kind of blows when it comes to love.

New year, Old habits

So,
I disappeared last year. I couldnt get into the habit of writing, im not a natural writer.
But, life has got me down lately and a writer friend of mine suggested I try again as it helps her get things out.
What do i have to lose???

So dear world....
I want to put my thoughts and feelings out there in the universe. In hopes that it helps me as a person.
Im sad.
Im very sad.
Life is not bad, its actually pretty decent.
So why am I not happy.
Most of my sadness has to do with other people, not so much myself.
My family, my sister and mother who never call me unless they need something from me.
My friend J, who im completely in love with and want to spend the rest of my life with and who only sees me as his best friend.
My friend relationships, I seem to have less people in my friendship circle, and none who i see on a regular basis. Most people I know think this is normal, but im a highly social person and not having people to be around drives me nuts.

As stupid as it is to want this. I really just wish i could wake up and everything be fixed, even if in some magical way.
Thats not realistic, but until i figure out how to make myself happy and get the balls to do it.... its all i have.

So, Im going to try to write again.

My birthday weekend.

I know its been a while since ive posted, theres just always something that is more important.
It happens.

Yesterday was Easter, and once every 7 or 9 years this also happens to be my birthday. I always think its awesome when my birthday falls on a National Holiday; though, it is much harder to find something fun to do.
As per my usual routine, i took an extended weekend away from work, giving me both Friday and Saturday as well as the holiday where we are closed.
Friday i got up early, took my bicycle out and ended up riding 3 miles. Now thats not alot really, but since im just now getting back into the exercise thing im stoked i was able to do that much. Then my friend Chris came over and we went to a few malls and shopped a bit. I was looking for an outfit to wear out Saturday night, but didnt find any. That evening went went to see How to Train Your Dragon in IMAX 3D, i must say it was pretty cool, but only bc it was in 3d. There were tons of kids there, but they were very well behaved so im ok with that. There was one scene where the boy disappeared from the page, the room is silent except for one little girl who asks "whered he go?" it was very cute.
Saturday was eventful again. I got my nails done, and despite my generous tip i was not thrilled with the service. The lady made me bleed (which this salon is usually fantastic) and then she didnt cover the nail completely with the polish, which makes me sad. Again me and my friend Chris went out shopping to another mall, i didnt find an outfit to wear that night but i found a dress to wear to vegas so that made me happy. I ended up dropping him off and going back to the first mall as there was a store i knew i didnt check on Friday. And of course i forgot that its prom shopping time, so it took me FOREVER just to try on my clothes.
I did finally find an outfit so that made me happy, plus found some comfy jeans.
So me and my friends headed out to dinner. Our cabby got to the apartment and that became our first adventure, long story short me and Amanda were in fear of a wreck happening on the way to dinner.
Dinner was a blast, we ate at a Japanese steak house. The show wasnt as flashy as i remember, but everyone does it differently. The food was good, and my friends and i socialized so that made me happy. I was sad that alot of people bailed on me, but whatever it happens i suppose.
After that we headed to Ernie Biggs chicago style dueling piano bar. We had a blast, spent too much money on alcohol and my friend ended up getting sick on the patio. But still ALOT of fun.

Sunday became Part 2 of the BDAY adventure. A couple of work friends decided we should take a road trip. So 5 of us piled into my SUV  at the but crack of dawn and drove 3 hours down to Branson to spend the day. We had a BLAST. Again spent too much money.... But we did the Ripleys Believe it or not, Hollywood Wax Museum, Old Time photo shoot and then go-carts. Stopped and had some ice cream and some fantastic dinner before getting back home just before midnight.

I felt very blessed this weekend, and im still feeling very blessed despite being woken up to a thunderstorm and hail on my window. I must get ready for work now, i hope everyone has a great day like i hope i will have.

Vacation time

Well not really, but i did take the vacation pay.

I had my last two remaining wisdom teeth removed on Monday. Surprisingly i expected much more pain, ive been able to get by with just aleve for the dull ache.

I opted for IV sedatives, knock me out baby! This apparently had very exciting side effects for me, and i say exciting with a sarcastic tone.

According to my lovely friend amanda, i have a extreme attachment to the Fbomb. I announced both mine and her personal issues to the waiting room and apparently offered to be her surrogate mother (not that im completely against the idea of she needed me). Its a good thing i dont have any deep dark secrets, otherwise im sure i would have spilled those beans.

All in all, i feel half empty in my mouth. I cant wait for some real food, ive been craving chipotle for a few days. Not that its considered real food but i am tired of soup and applesauce (which apparently a girl can live on just fine mind you, as im not starving)

Its wednesday, this 5 days of vacation went fast. I must actually do something with my life... but first a game on xbox.

For the love of a Dog

When a person is lonely, they look for something to fill the gap. This often leads to a companion of sorts. Typically if there is a bf/gf, they spend more time with them. Some women tend to go into what i call "baby mode" and cant stop thinking about babies, think about having babies, or spending more time with friends/families babies. Typically i tend to do the later of the 3 in order to fend off the baby vibes i have as i know i am not ready to raise a baby, much less raise one on my own.
Some women do not care about being ready for having a baby or not, they just want something to love and something to love them.

Since im slightly smarter than that, i have decided i am going to get a dog instead. Something to love, something to love me, and i dont have to put it through college.

But living in an apartment makes the task of finding the right type of dog hard. It needs to be small enough for apartment life, but typically i am a big dog person. So, compromising will be hard, especially since i hate the whole teacup, miniature type dogs. I am so not a Paris Hilton wanna-be.

My hope is to figure out what type of dog will work best in an apartment, or at least get a few breed types, and then head down to a few of my local no kill shelters in the area and see who i can bring home.

I was bored one day and went into Petland. God i hate the whole puppy mill scenario but GOD these babies were adorable. I was also introduced to a breed that i fell in love with. Just look at him, hes adorable. Hes a BOGGLE, which is a cross between boston terrier and beagle. But being ok with $400-500 for the dog is NOT something i can do at this time. Doesnt mean i cant oo and ahh over him all day!!!!

The decision to get a dog is something i have been thinking about for a while. As this has to be something i want to do for a long period of time, especially since im in an apartment. #1 i have to put a $300 deposit down to have the dog, plus increases my rent by $15. And then if i change apartments, i have to start all over again. This could get difficult. Which is another reason i refuse to shell out alot of cash for a dog.

As always, any suggestions are appreciated.