Monday, January 24, 2011

New year, Old habits

I disappeared last year. I couldnt get into the habit of writing, im not a natural writer.
But, life has got me down lately and a writer friend of mine suggested I try again as it helps her get things out.
What do i have to lose???

So dear world....
I want to put my thoughts and feelings out there in the universe. In hopes that it helps me as a person.
Im sad.
Im very sad.
Life is not bad, its actually pretty decent.
So why am I not happy.
Most of my sadness has to do with other people, not so much myself.
My family, my sister and mother who never call me unless they need something from me.
My friend J, who im completely in love with and want to spend the rest of my life with and who only sees me as his best friend.
My friend relationships, I seem to have less people in my friendship circle, and none who i see on a regular basis. Most people I know think this is normal, but im a highly social person and not having people to be around drives me nuts.

As stupid as it is to want this. I really just wish i could wake up and everything be fixed, even if in some magical way.
Thats not realistic, but until i figure out how to make myself happy and get the balls to do it.... its all i have.

So, Im going to try to write again.

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