Its good to spoil yourself

I bought a kindle.

Thought about it for well over a month, as i hate spending more than $100 on one item.
I stared at Amazon, Target, Best Buy... all the while considering the purchase.
Finally, i hunted one down and decided to buy in store vs online just for convenience. First thing i did was download some freebies of course, and found a few on sale for 99 cents. which made me click happy!

I ended up spending 6 hours reading one book and just let my afternoon fade away.

So far, im really thrilled with my purchase. I have yet to find a case i love...
And if anyone has any suggestions for low-cost books that are great reads please dont hesitate to let me know.

Book Review: Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

Ive never done a book review before, Ive never wanted to review a book. Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert is a book EVERYONE should read.
While i know that is an opinion, I also feel this is fact.

The only thing that made me interested in this book, and i mean the ONLY thing, was that she lived in Italy for a good portion of this book. That is the only reason i bought this.
It was so good, i bought another copy for my cousin. I just want to say ive never bought a book for someone that they didnt specifically ask for.

This book made me look deep inside myself and evaluate me. It made me think about me. It made me feel good, and feel sad, and feel alone and content.... all at the same time. I can honestly say, i found a small amount of peace in my life from reading this book.

Id also like to point out that i never quote anything, but i constantly find myself remembering sentences or events from the book without realizing that its from there.
Tonight, im writing my blog and talking about how love stinks. And i recall a phrase that talks about how all life disagreements can be attributed to two reasons.

"I met an old lady once, almost a hundred years old, and she told me, 'There are only two questions that human beings have ever fought over, all through history. How much do you love me? And Who's in charge?" 
— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)


While you might not completely agree with this, the sentence alone makes you think. 
This whole book makes you think, and ponder events in the world, in your life, in general. And i said ponder, not analyze. 


I want to be as brave as this person, to do something alone. Im struggling just to go out and find new friends alone. Lets not mention how spaztic i got when i decided to go out to eat dinner at TGIF alone.... completely alone.


I will probably never see the movie, just because i know it will take away the parts that i love about this movie.
I also wanted to link this webpage that shows different quotes from the book, even reading some of them makes you want to read more.


And not to plug, but i thought i would link the book, just in case someone wanted to check it out. 

Things get worse before they get better...

My aversion to writing is that i feel i do not express myself very well.
Maybe its because i read so many blogs and tend to compare myself. Or even that i read my friends writings and feel that they are better versed that i could ever be.
Perhaps, i just try too hard to be something im not.

Last night, my sister and i got into an argument. While im sure it wasnt so much the subject of this particular fight, but more a final straw on the camels back, im still sad that it came to this. The end result of the fight was me  washing my hands of her and her drama.
Hopefully this will be for the best, or maybe she will open her eyes and change some things in her life.

Today, my doctor called me about some test results. While im not going to share the subject on here at the moment, i thought the conversation was worth talking about.
The conversation basically was the Nurse Practitioner telling me that the doctor would like to schedule a follow up. Not unusual to receive that call, but the reason was because my test results were "off," who uses the words "off" to describe test results. High, Low, Good, Bad; these are all great adjectives to describe test results. "off" is not something one expects to hear.

Im slightly worried about the discussion, but slightly happy to hear that there is an explanation.
I guess i will know more on friday.

Last night, I laid in bed not being able to sleep, so i decided to find a journal and start writing there. Perhaps ill do this on top of my blog, but i had thoughts running around in my head so fast that needed to get out.
I wrote about a guy.
I wrote about how i met him, and how he makes me feel, and how i love him but he feels nothing for me.
Life kind of blows when it comes to love.

New year, Old habits

So,
I disappeared last year. I couldnt get into the habit of writing, im not a natural writer.
But, life has got me down lately and a writer friend of mine suggested I try again as it helps her get things out.
What do i have to lose???

So dear world....
I want to put my thoughts and feelings out there in the universe. In hopes that it helps me as a person.
Im sad.
Im very sad.
Life is not bad, its actually pretty decent.
So why am I not happy.
Most of my sadness has to do with other people, not so much myself.
My family, my sister and mother who never call me unless they need something from me.
My friend J, who im completely in love with and want to spend the rest of my life with and who only sees me as his best friend.
My friend relationships, I seem to have less people in my friendship circle, and none who i see on a regular basis. Most people I know think this is normal, but im a highly social person and not having people to be around drives me nuts.

As stupid as it is to want this. I really just wish i could wake up and everything be fixed, even if in some magical way.
Thats not realistic, but until i figure out how to make myself happy and get the balls to do it.... its all i have.

So, Im going to try to write again.